Editorial: Mike Bain
A 16‑year‑old girl in Sydney is dead after a suspected sexual‑choking incident.
Police are still investigating, no charges have been laid, and we must let that process run. But the fact remains: a teenager has lost her life during a sex act that young people increasingly believe is “normal.”
This is not a fringe story. It’s not a scandal to gawk at. It’s a warning.
And it’s one New Zealand cannot afford to ignore.
The uncomfortable truth: choking has become mainstream for teens
Researchers now estimate around half of young people have tried choking during sex. Not adults — young people. Many think it’s safe. Many think it’s expected. Many think it’s “just what everyone does now.”
Why? Because pornography has become the default sex educator.
Violent porn is everywhere — on phones, on social media, on platforms parents don’t even know exist. And now it’s bleeding into mainstream culture. When Coronation Street includes a storyline about sexual choking, you know the conversation has shifted.
What used to be a niche kink is now a script teenagers are copying without understanding the risks.
There is no safe version of strangulation
Experts are blunt: there is no safe way to choke someone.
Even mild pressure can cause:
- brain injury
- memory loss
- problem‑solving difficulties
- long‑term neurological damage
And that’s without knocking someone unconscious.
It takes seconds. It takes very little force. And it can kill.
This is now a parenting issue — whether we like it or not
Thousands of girls have already told advocates they feel pressured into choking because “everyone does it.” Boys say they think it’s normal because they see it online. Many don’t understand the risks. Many don’t know how to talk about it. Many don’t know how to say no.
This is not about shaming young people. It’s about protecting them.
If you’re a parent, this is your moment.
Not to panic. Not to lecture. But to talk.
Talk about consent. Talk about pressure. Talk about porn and what it gets wrong. Talk about safety. Talk about the fact that a teenager has died.
New Zealand cannot wait for tragedy to arrive here
Sexual violence among young people is rising. Harmful porn‑driven behaviours are rising. And silence is no longer an option.
A young girl in Australia will never go home again. Her family will never recover. And her death is a warning to every parent, every school, every policymaker in New Zealand.
This conversation is overdue. Let’s have it now — before we’re writing this story about one of our own.
